They Call Us Bratz

Why yes, this is me. Haha. As traditions around Bethel seem to be far and few between, one that hasn't seemed to fail (yet!) is Midnight Breakfast. This year, my incredibly wonderful roomies had the idea to go as the Bratz Dolls -- I am Chloe, better known as Angel. 

Rachael, Nelya, Yours Truly, Melisa and Hope

Rae and I getting ready at 10:30pm -- definitely felt more like morning!

Nelya's famous "The Melana" pose. It's the name of a model; although not the name of an actual pose. Apparently this particular model never smiles in her pics...

After picking out the blueberries in pancakes that arguably could've been better had I made them in my sleep, we ventured back to good 'ole Eby. Since snow had fallen for most of the day, and decided to stick, we dragged each of our mattresses out into the Living Room to have one massive slumber party to our choice movie - The Holiday. Pictures to come soon. 

Lodge Christmas Party

Next to me there is Dennis aka Santa, followed by Jen, Nelya, Melisa and Erin. 

Such beautiful ladies!

 Rae, Nelya, Hope, Laura and I were singing along to Lucas's carols. This was right before we ventured onto a carriage ride around campus. 

Something must've been hilarious. Then again, it doesn't take much.

Just in case you're wondering, my favorite (not worship) Christmas song is Winter Wonderland. Michael Buble sure does it justice, if I do say so myself. 

And It Feels Like Home.

What a weekend so far. Fall Break, so it's more than just a weekend if you want to be technical.

I think back to my other college Fall Breaks so far:
Freshman year -- road trip to Maryland and Washington D.C. with some great friends. The destination seemed pretty glamorous, not to mention several morning hikes, rainy afternoons and relaxed evenings.
Sophomore year -- if I remember right, I went down to the International House of Prayer with a few others packed in a car.

Hmm... oh reminiscing. Anywho, back to the present. This semester has been crazy in several areas, all pointing to God's redemptive purposes, and how He pushes those He loves to develop noble character and integrity. It's been so stretching, and more than once have I been forced way out of my comfort zone. Oh how He loves us; Oh, how You love me. All that to say, this break has been a long time in coming, and yet its timing couldn't have been more perfect.

Karleen and I made a deal this past summer that we'd make it a weekend trip to come back down to Grabill early in the Fall semester -- so here we are. What an incredible friend I have. My last class was early afternoon on Wednesday, and then I stayed that night at my house to catch a breath and try and organize my life a step ahead of where it was at. Thursday was super relaxed, refreshing and productive. Dinner time came around and I headed out to Epic's praise practice. Though not playing this week (as I'm in Grabill) I still brought my guitar, and played along unplugged. It was such an easy-going, genuine and sincere, time of reflection and praise unto Christ. Following practice, I had an incredible conversation with Ann and Karleen. Gosh I love those ladies so much.

Friday morning Karleen and I just turned on some instrumental tunage (Jon Schmidt is the best!) and just spent some intentional hours in her apartment. Then... road trip!!! We made sure to stop at 7/11 and grab some Arnold Palmer's in honor of summer times, and some chocolate for the road. You could say we were set. A short two hours later... after seeing an Amish woman struggle with a chainsaw on the side of the road, only in Indiana... we made it the best host-family's home in the entire world. And guess what was ready for dinner?! Chili. The best on a chilly fall day. We spent the rest of the evening catching up on much, with plenty of laughter and even holding back a few tears.

Saturday. Today didn't really start for me until 11am. Gotta take advantage of sleep when it's available :) Anywho, Karleen and I headed out around noon for a lunch on the Smitley's via Groupon. During my last few weeks here in Grabill, a brand spankin' new coffee cabin opened up which I pretty much fell in love with, and Patricia had bought this groupon for a lunch date for two. So sweet of her to give it to us to use! That was super fun, and then we were able to meet up with Kelley-guy and Kellly-girl at Dairy Sweet, and then with Sarah Lawrence afterwards. Talk about just good times of catching up, and some incredible conversations as well. I just keep finding myself reminded and reminded of God's redemptive purposes. Amazes me. After spending some time with some fantastic people, Courtney, Karleen and I were feeling some "fiesta" in our spirits and headed out to good 'ole Bandito's. On our way out we decided that we never want to smell like we bathed in a pool of outdated perfume, like the old ladies who were on the path as we made our exit.

Last but not least, those who could make it came over to the Smit's for some catch-up time and a movie. Andrea, Liv, Hannah, Brok and August. We hung out, watched YouTube clips, hunted around for some new tunes, made brownies. took pictures, cleaned up after Missy peeing on the couch, and then watched She's The Man. I must say the boys were troopers for watching that one with us gals, even though Brok had more of it memorized than me. It was such a great time of just seeing everyone and spending time with them, just like old summer times. The Lord has blessed me so much with a home here in Grabill and friendships that will last. I don't deserve it at all, and I am humbled and blessed.

My mind's a bit just off right now, which is why this is kinda cut and dry -- my creativity for the day left an hour or so ago :) haha. Anywho, time for bed, and looking forward to church in a couple hours. Once I get them, I'll post a pic or two from tonight -- stay tuned!

Left to right: August, Andrea, Liv, Hannah, Brok and then me and Courtney in front :)

From the Deep

The enshrouding blackness
engulfs my being.
Alone.
Afraid.
My mind is a whirlpool
ever inwards
towards an eternity of intolerable pain.

I used to reach out
a hand
into the black unknown
in hope.
But my soul was torn from me,
and I hoped no more.

It was like a pit.
Unfathomable depth.
Torturous groveling.
My tears the only sound
in the impenetrable darkness.

I remember that pit,
and the fear,
and the hopelessness
of an eternal agony of mind,
and the soulless wandering
in uncharted desert.

Now I find myself at this oasis,
this unlooked-for-harbour,
this refuge.
I did not deserve that gracious act
to pluck me from that all-powerful deep.

I had no hope,
but turning back along the path I came,
I see a gracious hand
and a loving smile.
I see a guiding light
and feel a protecting wing.

Nestling in your warmth,
my cold heart has thawed.
The blackness of my soul
has blossomed into a million blooms.

My tears have turned into jewels,
and my bitterness to honey.

But I remember the pit.
Keep me, O LORD,
Safe
in the refuge of your wings.

Elizabeth  (Ruth, Atkinson)

A Joyful Act

It is a joyful act to study eternal joy. It is merciful that God has allowed sinners to study God's mercy. It is the delight of theological reflection to see in their proper light the unity, harmony, balance, and proportion of the characteristics of the divine life. A right understanding of this proportionality goes far to prevent misunderstandings of God.

Thomas C. Oden's A Systematic Theology: Classic Christianity says:

God is the source and end of all things, that than which nothing greater can be conceived; uncreated, sufficient, necessary being; infinite, unmeasurable, eternal One, Father, Son, and Spirit; all-present, all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-empowering creator, redeemer, and consummator of all things; immanent without ceasing to be transcendent, Holy One present in our midst; whose way of personal being is incomparably free, self-determining, spiritual, responsive, and self-congruent; whose activity is incomparably good, holy, righteous, just, benevolent, loving, gracious, merciful, forbearing, kind; hence eternally blessed, eternally rejoicing, whose holiness is incomparable in beauty (75).

Then. We. Made. It.

OKAY. So story. After attending Leo's grad ceremony (more like dragging a certain someone along!!!), we were then on our way to our one and only grad party of the day. We didn't even look up the address, as this person was rather certain they knew where it was. We pull into the driveway, realizing that there is no room to park. Then, we eventually try the "buggie stop" portion of the road directly in front of the neighbor's place... who was outside. My "passenger" pointed out to me that it looked like no one was home, which was odd, because the party was scheduled to start 15 min before we got there. We decided that they must have been running late, along with the "creeper white van" with the rest of the summer staff in it -- we had managed to escape that one for the day. After jamming out to some J.BEIBS, things were starting to feel a tad shady, so we made a few dials. A call to kelley-guy: no answer. A call to kelly-girl: no answer. This was not good, we thought. Maybe the party was at a park or something! Before things got too panicky, we made another call to our famous captain fun: again no answer. As I hang up my cell, I hear a rumbling and look out my back window. It's captain fun on his moto -- better timing, i think not. As he zooms by, I start shuffling things around, trying to follow the lead. The car was off, but in reverse, so I couldn't start it... ahhh!! I was losing time! Finally.... on the road... I caught up, at this point chippy is dying laughing at me -- certainly not over a laughing matter. at all. We're starting to feel good, about finally being on track, and moto boy starts turning around and shaking his head. What!!! Haha, this was just crazy. Okay, so we then turned around, maybe this time for like the seventh time, and then. we. made. it. whew. what an afternoon, I should say! :)

Sheep, Wolves, Snakes, Doves

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

-Matthew 10:16

God, grant me an eternal perspective on where you've currently placed me, and over the work that I am doing, and relationships I'm building.

Hold On Tight... Literally.

Hold on tight! Literally... is what I had to do, but it's also what you might need to do as you prepare yourself for reading this. Today has marked a great day of history in my life. (I'm trying to build this up... so just go with it!) I have been waiting for this day for countless years... and well, now it's one of those "i can never say i've never done it, ever again..." things.

Today marked the day of my very-first motorcycle ride ever. To those of you who own a moto, or wish that you did, you can rejoice with me, and well, for all of you who don't have one and are proud to say it, well you can rest knowing that I am still in one piece. I did learn something though: next time I will be wearing sunglasses. I guess I underestimated, or just didn't estimate at all, the whole "wind" aspect of not being in a car.

As for now, I'll work on getting a pic of me "behind the wheel" so-to-speak -- wouldn't that be quite the sight!

Amish In The Light?

Hey gang,

So right now I'm just chillin' on my day off catching some rays on my back porch :) It sure is quite a beautiful day. This past week has been great -- can't believe it's already coming up on week three for me here at Grabill. 

Funny story of the week: Wednesday night at youth we had what was called "Prayer Night." It was just a time of prayer through thanks, break-off groups, reflection, etc. and praise through song. During the small group time, I was with about six or seven jr. high girls. The way we had the night set up, was we'd have "prayer intervals" of about 5min each for different specific topics (our summer theme of servanthood/mission trip, the process of hiring a new associate youth pastor, our community and church, and the world). During our prayer time for the world, our MC for the night, Heath, mentioned that he couldn't recall ever praying for an Amish person, especially with there being quite the Amish population here in Grabill. He suggested that we pray that the Amish would see the light. One of the girls in my group then prayed, "I'm not sure if that was supposed to be a pun, so God, I pray for the Amish, that they'd see the light, whether that means You're light, or... electricity." I thought that was SO cute!!!

Now that I finally have some pics of Grabill's fantastic summer staff team... let me introduce you to these folks I have to put up with... uhh, I mean... get to work with :) 

Who's this stranger?! Oh... this is me :)

Courtney, more commonly known as Chip-Chap. She's pretty sweet, actually super awesome. Yesterday we had our fair share of splendid moments ranging from biking to work together, to spilling the grounds on the carpet and not reading a VERY important sign when it came to her teaching me how to brew a pot of coffee :) Grabill is actually her home church, as she lives just down the road with her family, and she loves to run, and does Track when she's at school.

This would be Heath, whose real name is Dustin... but also goes by Number Six. My curiosity kept persisting after being told that it was a "long story" -- now I can attest to it being the truth. But basically, apparently in the Bible, the #6 has something to with "being manly, or a man -- in a rebellious sense." Heath is a great asset to our team, with a very determined, "get 'er done" persona, and he loves to go for rides on his new "lightening-bolt" motorcycle. He also enlightened our team to what might be one of my "top-favorite" words right now: brouhaha. Look it up!

Lastly, but surely not least, this is Joey -- the only one of us hooligans who does not go to Bethel. He is from not too far away himself, just more downtown in The Fort. Joey has known Kelley-guy, the youth pastor, for years, and actually was part of his wedding, so they go back pretty far. He has the hook-ups for creating a pretty sweet t-shirt design, and also likes to cook, or more specifically "grill out" -- SO... he has been knighted as GrillMaster for our Summer KickOff in just over a week. 

Well, looks like that's all for now, folks. Keep prayin' for us -- it means so much, and we need it!!!

Case

Mustang Cruisin' Cruisin'

After church today (second Sunday at Grabill!) my host family and I joined the Lenke's for lunch at Steak and Shake. Here, for about the past week, we've been getting rainstorm after rainstorm... and so with an afternoon of actually being able to feel the sun-rays on our poor vitamin-a deprived skin, we just had to take full advantage of mustang-cruising our way through the warm wind.

After our milkshake fix at Steak 'N Shake, and a short visit at "grandparents house", we set out for some three-generation put-putt... plus me :) Host dad won with a few holes-in-one in his pocket, "grandpa" got second (by two points!!!) and Lisa and I tied.

PS -- did I mention host dad let me drive home??? Not too shabby for one day after getting my license, huh?!

...I Find My Rest

Right up until coming here (to Grabill), and even then some, I was possibly the most fear-filled I've been in as long as I can remember about something. I felt incredibly trapped in such a battle. Those feelings of fear, nerves, inadequacy, etc. just remind me so much that we do have such active opposition in our lives (as Christians making strides of obedience, love, and so on unto our Abba) -- and that we cannot do anything solo without God. 

Here at Grabill, everyday we start out with personal prayer and devotions, and that has been such a sweet time for me -- it's becoming my favorite time, which is incredible just seeing the whole picture displayed through Scripture of Jesus' voice being what calmed the storms. If we relate Jesus' voice to God's Word -- then it makes sense that when we're actively diving into it, it's God's Word... His voice that calms the storms (and fears, etc) in our lives. That's just something that has been on my mind a lot recently. 

I am almost tearing up right now thinking throughout my life and honestly believing when I say that I'm not sure I've ever been in a better place in my life. I don't know if I fully believe that or not, because I've been in some places that have thoroughly influenced and impacted who I am, but it is beyond clear and beyond exciting to me that I am right where I am supposed to be. I mean this not in the sense that things are "going well" or that "I feel good about where I am", but rather that I believe with confidence that there is no other place for me at the moment that would be more perfect for where I am right now in life, and for how God is preparing me for whatever is to come. You could say I've been "set up!" -- by the best coordinator in the entire universe.

The support I have here, the potential for impact and for Christ's love to be poured out onto and into these students lives, lifelong relationships forming, being a part of a family where I feel 100% comfortable, cared for, and a part of who they are when I'm with them (even when I'm not with them)... is just incredible. It's beyond anything I thought it could be. God knows what He's doing. With you; with me. He does not waste anything. He works for the good of those who loves Him. And He asks for obedience. For our devotion and love toward Him. 

If someone were to ask me how I'm doing with the whole fear thing... I'd say better. I really am. Do I still feel inadequate? Oh absolutely, and I'm okay with that. Mostly because it's true. It's too easy to fall out of "dependent on God" mode -- so it's right where I belong.

Since I often share and speak through the language of tunes... give this song a listen. 

Where I Belong by Cory Asbury. My favorite line in it goes, "It's here in Your presence, God, I find my rest."

Much Love and thankful for your continued prayers,

Case

Four Years Overdue, Never Too Late

Saturday, May 28th -- Someone had a full day you might say :)

Right off the bat I had my second shot at passing my driver's test. First in Mishawaka. Second in Auburn. Four years overdue, but finally this girl is an official licensed driver. (Also, I managed quite the attractive mug shot I should add.)

Chip-chap (Courtney -- other female intern) is now finally here in Grabill to say for good. To celebrate, we went shopping for some Sunday attire... and met up with our dear Gabes (aka: my future roomie) in town for a wedding. 

Never short of an interesting story, more like awkward or "just great" if you will, two took place: one at Hot Topic, another at Maurices. You can ask me in person if you so desire; i'd be glad to share. 

Coming home from the mall, Chap and I decided to crash "Turdle's House" -- home of Heath for the summer. His host fam is still on vacation out of the country, and his brother was in town visiting, so we payed a short visit ourselves. Maybe we shoulda stuck around a bit longer, as Heath's bro was practicing his culinary skills on quite the rack of lamb. 

Lisa and I have the house to ourselves since I got home, since host mom and host dad are at a wedding. For starters, we just chilled out and surfed our pasts through the sharing of some Facebook photos, followed by (as we soon found out, a very sad...) attempt at some home-made chocolate chip meets butterscotch meets coconut meets oatmeal cookies. On a normal day I would only choose two of said ingredients, but I decided to go along with it!!! Made for a good memory though :)

After failing at a simple task of cookie-making, we had the bright idea of making up for it with some ice cream at CVS. Waiting in the check out line, we were soon informed that there was a deal going until 10pm of buy one get one free. Prime example of "two is better than one." 

After a once-started-never-ending YouTube game of show and tell, with our dog Missy having a shaking attack from the pretty intense roars of thunder and flashes of lightening outside, we now find ourselves just sitting back watching some Monk in the basement. 

Talk about a fun-filled Saturday. 

Country Roads, Grabill I've Come...

For those of you who don't know, I've been offered an internship near Fort Wayne, IN at a church called Grabill Missionary for the summer. This place has been my home since four days ago... Tuesday.

Wednesday was my first official day at Grabill in the office and with the youth. It was a long day, but I just loved it so much. Some of the youth actually ran up to me and told me how excited they are for me to be here, get to know me, and spend time together. How crazy and exciting!

Let me take you back a minute though a mini-trail of how I've ended up where I currently am. Initially, I applied for an internship called SOAR -- it seemed promising to say the least, and very much made sense that I would be an intern with them for the summer. Unfortunately, things fell through with SOAR, and I was not offered a summer spot. The main man over there named Terry sent me an incredible email, and in it he stated that the first time he ever read my application he thought that if for some reason the numbers worked against me there, then he couldn't think of anyone he'd rather have me intern under than Sarah Lawrence -- at Grabill. She's a woman, with a family, in full-time ministry. A super valuable model and mentor for me. He asked me to lunch with her... she got snowed in (crazy Indiana!). We talked via phone when I was in Colorado for spring break. Then, I talked with Kelley (the guy youth pastor here) too, and they offered me a spot. Turns out that Sarah is pregnant with her third child under the age of four, among other things (taking on a different job, etc) and so she stepped down, and is not the youth pastor here anymore. That was really a bummer to me, but it's so interesting to see how God used SOAR to bring Grabill into the picture, and then Sarah to lure me into committing. And now she's not here. Even though there have been several changes already, and quite a bit of uncertainty, I know I am here for very clear, purposeful and specific reasons -- that I don't know yet. And I might never know. It's just so obvious that this is where I am supposed to be.

God is good. So much greater than good.

Throughout basically as long as I have known about and been preparing for this internship, I've been faced with quite a bit of fear and inadequacy. What I've been battling is not from the Lord, but it has been able to serve as reminders of how much I do need God, His Spirit, and His mighty Word.

So, here I am. Living with people I've only known for less than a week, serving with a church over 100 years old, building relationships that I can only pray will last a lifetime, growing and learning tons and tons for the betterment and sake of Christ's kingdom, and taking things one day at a time.

There are three other summer staffers with me. Two friends from Bethel, who are actually returning as they interned here also last year: Heath and Courtney, and another guy who is from around here, Joey. I can already tell it'll be a great summer with them. Lot's of inside jokes will arise, I'm sure -- they're my favorite! Mmm, yess... I've always wanted to be apart of an inside joke someday (for all you Office lovers).

And of course, my host family.  Love them, love them, love them. They are pretty incredible, not perfect of course, but very devoted to serving the Lord. I have a sister here who just finished her first year studying Business at Huntington, they have another daughter married living in Texas, and they lost a son in his sleep about ten years ago when he was thirteen. My host mom is super talkative, and very encouraging, supportive, and hospitable. Host dad likes to play Scrabble. The other night he was in a game mood, and so Lisa (my host sister) and I agreed to play some Sequence with him, and then later that night us ladies (including their dog Missy, haha) stayed up and had "girl talk" until 2:30am. Yikes! Last night they sent Lisa and I out on a date on them -- we ate at a Mexican restaurant (SO much food), and then went to see the movie Soul Surfer. It was definitely great, although I cried so much during it. What can I say... I'm a cryer :) It was a blast hanging out with her for the night.

Today, I had my second wedding of the summer season (Congrats Caitlin and Peter!), seriously just minutes from where I am living here. I could see the church the reception was being held at outside our kitchen window! It was a great wedding (although I can never say I haven't been to a wedding without dancing again... ever), and I had a fantastic and super inspiring and thought-provoking conversation with Jeremy and Ann -- I love them so much! After I came back, my host family was just finishing up hosting a wedding shower themselves. Mama of the house took note that everyone was all dressed up in the middle of the afternoon, and we just had to live that out to the fullest, so we went out to Panera for dinner followed by a viewing of Jane Eyre at this downtown Cinema Center in Fort Wayne. Interesting movie -- would I see it again? Most likely not. What a night :)

I've already written so much, though I could go on! Shouldn't be that much of a shocker :) BUT -- tomorrow is my first day at Grabill for church on a Sunday. Us summer staffers are being introduced to both services... accompanied by a fabulous meets ridiculous "movie" of us. I'll plan on posting that later for all to enjoy!

Much peace, and thanks for all your prayers!


 

Once Upon A Time

Sleepovers are fun. I have to admit, not as fun as they were once upon a time when it was a treat to stay up past 8pm, and to eat late-night snacks, but still... fun. 

 It's been a long time in coming, and now it's finally here :) Lovely little Caitlin is spending her first night ever as a college-girl-to-be. Just only 14 years early! But seriously, a Bethelite she's destined to be -- it's in her blood, literally.

Here's a little "something" from Caitlin's perspective:

So far Casey and I had dinner in the DC -- they had macaroni and cheese :) After that her roomie Laura got off work early so we all went and swang on the swings at a park, and then walked a little bit around campus. We skipped, twirled and ran across a bridge. Then we came back to Casey's room and colored a big picture of a princess and then played some piano. Some other friends came over and we painted our nails together -- mine are a pretty purplish pink with flowers on them! And now we are watching Tangled!!! I think the horse is super silly! Tomorrow morning one of Casey's friends is taking me to breakfast before chapel, and then I'm going to watch her sing with the Concert Choir for Praise and Worship Chapel!

Goodnight,

Caitlin (and Casey!)

 Laura and Caitlin making their nails all pretty pink :) LOVE these girls!

And We Will Kill You

Ambush, what consumes most of Bethel for most of the spring semester, is great. It's just so great. And intense. Even though I'm out, I would argue that I may be more useful than ever. And it's super fun too, putting my coaching skills to good use. All that to say, this morning was quite interesting.

We will find you; and we will kill you.

I'm A Disciple?

Ten Characteristics of a Disciple by Donald Miller:

I remember being in a Bible study once when the teacher pulled out a book about discipleship and read ten or so characteristics of a disciple. They were things like being holy and devoted and knowledgeable and all that. They sounded nothing like the characteristics of the disciples in the Bible. The author was well meaning, of course, but it’s no doubt tempting to hang a carrot in front of people telling them they have to “become” in order to be used by God rather than admitting they actually “become” while they are in the process of being used by God. It’s an important paradigm shift for all of us because otherwise we’d be too intimidated to take the first step.

Here are some actual characteristics of the disciples I think we can safely trust. If you resonate with any of these, you’re in a good spot and likely following Jesus:
1. You think Jesus wants to take over the government so you cut off a soldiers ear in order to get the fighting started. (The neo cons are definitely disciples!)
2. You keep pestering Jesus about who he will give more power to in heaven.
3. You have no theological training but own a small fishing business which somehow makes you qualified because you “get it.”
4. The Holy Spirit crashes into one of your mini sermons so everybody can speak different languages and outsiders think you’re drunk.
5. People ask you if you know Jesus and you freak out and say no and run away.
6. You hear they killed Jesus on a cross and you figure the whole thing was a wash and you got duped.
7. You choose other disciples by playing rock, paper scissors.
8. You teach bad theology and have to have somebody else come over and correct you.

So there you go. My guess is there’s a place in there for you. 

So if you’re confused about theology or power hungry or just an average idiot, take the first step. You’ll get sorted out along the way. The disciples “became” some pretty great guys in the end.

Banana Soy Monkey Soup?

"Gross", you may be thinking thanks to my wonderful friend Linsey's sister Cailin. Yay for misunderstandings, or shall I say, mis"hearings".

Well, so much for my highly-curiosity-filled-draw-in-of-a-Blog-title. Now on to much more important things.

Spring Break.
Spring Break in Colorado.
Spring Break in Colorado with fantastic friends.

This has been my life for the last 156 hours; 9360 min; 561600 seconds (rough translation: one week).

Needless to say, I've been loving it here. Sadly, the next time I wake up will be the same day that I leave this beautiful creation marked by God's majesty and power. I mean, that could be said about anywhere, it's just... these mountains do something to ya.

Well, we just popped in a movie. Stay tuned for more details and hopefully a pic or two.

Spirit Reign: 8 Hour Chapel

So, it's been one crazy week at Bethel.

Last week Wednesday: I definitely did NOT wake up in the morning thinking "this is the day for revival at Bethel" -- wow. Chapel started normal as ever, and ended up going until around 5:30pm (most afternoon classes just didn't happen). Talk about testimonies, confession, prayer, praise, and preached words. God is so gracious, patient and faithful. It's His kindness, freedom, Holy Spirit, that leads us to repentance.

Give this a read. This man's testimony was the unintended "opening" for Bethel's "8 hour long chapel last week. Can you say Freedom? Please join in prayer as this is not just something to take from and let pass by. Abba, may Your Spirit reign. http://www.southbendtribune.com/article/20100502/News01/5020310/-1/XML

Here's another article from Bethel's website: http://www.bethelcollege.edu/news/?articleID=5484

"For we do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you." ~2 Chronicles 20

In The Realm Of Things

I have been learning so much about myself, life, others, and God lately. Most of it could be described as difficult, confusing, not my favorite, frustrating at times, and sad. Yes, there have even been tears. I've found myself in a place pleading with the LORD to exalt himself in every situation, regardless of where that leaves me. I am so weak, and I am in great need of His strength and endurance.

A wonderful wise woman of the LORD that I look up to a ton shared with me over the weekend something that has helped her tremendously when trying to figure out her place in this world, in relationships, in the realm of things....

Now, O people, the LORD has told you what is good,
and this is what he requires of you:
to do what is right (act justly), to love mercy, 
and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

Amen.

With My Eye Upon You

This was in today's devotion I read from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

TRUST ME ENOUGH to spend ample time with Me, pushing back the demands of the day. Refuse to feel guilty about something that is so pleasing to Me, the King of the universe. Because I am omnipotent, I am able to bend time and events in your favor. You will find that you can accomplish more in less time, after you have given yourself to Me in rich communion. Also, as you align yourself with My perspective, you can sort out what is important and what is not. Don't fall into the trap of being constantly on the go. Many, many things people do in My Name have no value in My kingdom. To avoid doing meaningless works, stay in continual communication with Me. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.

Luke 10:41-42; Psalm 32:8

What Does Love Look Like?

DAY 32 -- Beauty Challenge

Tuesday, January 25th

My roomie has been listening to a song called Arms Open Wide by Misty Edwards for quite some time now, and it just hit me today. I liked the song, but truth in it and the honest words attacked my heart earlier today.

It's beautiful. Our God, Maker of the Heavens and Earth, Perfect Father and Master, Gentle Guider and LORD, is beautiful. I want that to be my constant thought. God, may your beauty, your mystery and compassion make its home in me. My mind, my heart, my strength. Devoted to you.


“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been pondering.
“What does love look like?”
“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been asking of You.

I once believed that love was romance, just a chance.
I even thought that love was for the lucky and the beautiful.
I once believed that love was a momentary bliss,
But love is more than this.

All You ever wanted was my attention.
All You ever wanted was love from me.
All You ever wanted was my affections, to sit here at Your feet.
Then I sat down, a little frustrated and confused.
If all of life comes down to love,
Then love has to be more than sentiment.
More than selfishness and selfish gain.

And then I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me.
I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me.
He was looking at me, looking at Him, staring through me.

I could not escape those beautiful eyes,
And I began to weep and weep.
He had arms wide open, a heart exposed
Arms wide open; He was bleeding, bleeding.
Love’s definition, love’s definition was looking at me,
Looking at Him, hanging on a tree.

I began to weep and weep and weep and weep.
This is how I know what love is, this is how I know what love is.
And as I sat there weeping, crying,
Those beautiful eyes, full of desire and love,
He said to me, “You shall love Me, You shall love Me.
You shall love Me, You shall love Me”.

With arms wide open, a heart exposed,
With arms wide open, bleeding, sometimes bleeding.
If anybody’s looking for love in all the wrong places,
If you’ve been searching for love, come to Me, come to Me.

Take up your cross, deny yourself,
Forget your father’s house and run, run with Me.
You were made for abandonment, wholeheartedness.
You were made for someone greater, someone bigger, so follow Me.
And You’ll come alive when you learn to die.

Oh, He Knows Us.

January 21st
Today I got an invitation to my first wedding for a friend from Bethel! I am so excited -- congrats, Sam :) You are beautiful!!!

Also, tonight Laura and I ran some errands. On our way, we met an icy patch on the roads, and did a 180 - yikes! I picked up some super cute notes & envelopes for 10cents a pack at Michaels, and Laura let me drive her car all the way back to Bethel from the South Bend airport. This time, I didn't cut anyone off! After our safe return to campus, Sam and I bonded over some pizza rolls while watching 27 Dresses, my favorite! I seriously love this girl, and our friendship. If you know her, you know how insanely stylish she is, and that she is a complete pro at making (not tacky) jewelry. So, it totally made my night when she gave me one of her beautiful creations. What an honor.

January 22nd
Today was Laura's Nursing Dedication Ceremony. Both of us were able to sleep in, which was much needed, and then the fancy hair-do's and fitting into high heels began (or not-so-high). Anywho, this ceremony was a big deal for Laura and her classmates, and I am so proud of her for all her hard work and dedication to her calling as a nurse. She is so beautiful!

Funny moment from the ceremony -- a guy shared that one of his "top five reasons for being a nurse is giving needles. For it is better to give, than to receive." I definitely laughed at that one.

After the ceremony, Karleen and I enjoyed a triple-chocolate date at the fantastic South Bend Chocolate Factory. Mmmm. Let me define what I mean by "triple" -- Hot Chocolate La Salle (mint hot cocoa), with a chocolate truffle on top, and a double chocolate chip muffin. WHOAH! It was a great time of being together, as always, and being able to catch up.

January 23th

Here are the beautiful highlights of the day:

-Being back at Epic since before Christmas break.
-Packers owning the Bears and off to the SuperBowl we go. Yeah Green!

January 24th

Meeting with Mel today, I overheard a girl sitting next to us exclaim her enthusiasm for the Packers. Around here, talk like that isn't too common, so I guess it just stuck out to me. I interrupted and pointed out that, I too, and a fan. This led to another question, and a question or two after that. All to say, she graduated from the same high school as me! What?! And she's a junior here at Bethel - so CRAZY! I just could not believe it - definitely made my day. It was just so refreshing, that even though I know practically nothing about her, to know that we have that in common. Something that I cannot share with anyone else here at Bethel. To me, it was a beautiful reminder of how incredibly serious and true it is that the LORD truly KNOWS us, and how small the world indeed is.

Has Honesty Lost It's Beauty?

Today in my Greek class, Professor Morris, one of the greatest men I've ever met in my life, mentioned that class was going to start a few minutes late. We were waiting for a Campus Safety Officer to come get something from him.

Sounded a bit sketchy to me, too.

Lo and behold, Morris had came across a deserted and lonely ten dollar bill in the parking lot. Not belonging to him, he turned it into the Lost and Found portion of Bethel's campus security. This totally shocked me beyond belief. Ten dollars, really?! I know I would have kept it, and thought of it as a "blessing from God" or something.

Hmm, it struck me as beautiful, oddly enough.
Odd, should it be?
Has honesty lost it's beauty?

Beauty Beyond Control

Yesterday happened to be one of those days, where beauty could only come from out of your hands.

It felt or "seemed" as if there was just no way I was gonna be able to put a dent in what I needed to get done. Great day, don't get me wrong, but just a lot.

After a great time at practice with some of my favorite people and a great time catching up with a friend, I went back to my room. Ready to lash out on what I thought was going to be my massive list of to-do's and reading lists, it came to my surprise that there was not nearly the amount of "stuff" that needed to be done. What. It didn't make sense, because at the beginning of the day, before my first class, I felt overwhelmed with what was ahead of me in the day.

God is so gracious, and the way He orchestrates our times -- down to very minutes, is too beautiful to understand.

Beauty Times Five and On

I've come to a conclusion that I am over-due the "get caught up on blogging" date, so here's my plan. I'm gonna give a few highlights from the past how-ever-long it's been since my last update, and then take it from today forward -- to continue toward my 60 day mark. I realize that I will be several days behind the rest of the crew, but for my own sanity, and as a result of not having kept up with day-to-day entries, this will have to suffice. I send my sincerest apologies.

Wednesday December 22nd -- Day 21
-There is an adventurous side of beauty when it comes to getting lost. This was my one and only Wednesday morning open during my break in Wisconsin, so it worked out perfectly when my lovely Danielle, mostly known as Dmode, suggested a coffee date. Planning on getting to our beloved Black Canyon no later than 9am didn't exactly go down as we had hoped -- she didn't even make it to my place until closer to 10am! Another side of the beauty that I saw in this was how my anticipation grew with each second that passed, to see Dmode's beautiful face and have a humungo hug!

Thursday, December 23rd -- Day 22
-This was the day to visit my dad. I had invited Amanda to go with, as she is registered and has gone with my grandma and I in the past. It had been almost two years since I had seen him last, so it wasn't the most ease-filled time ever, especially on the drive there.What stuck out to me the most, besides me never seeing my dad with a beard before, was how he looked so much older. Okay, the beard may have contributed a bit to that also. BUT, he had wrinkles. My dad has a great smile, and so I've always known him to have "squinty eyes" from his charming smile, but there was more. The whole concept of him having wrinkles just stuck to me. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Some might say not, but I think there is a natural beauty that comes with age. And, I think he may have shrunk a bit, or maybe I just got taller!

Friday, December 24th -- Day 23
-Christmas Eve! I spent the night at my mom's apartment with two of my half-siblings, and my mom's mom (grandma Calista). The following morning some of my cousins came over. I remember growing up being constantly teased, not to mention tickled by Ryan and Jonathan. I always looked up to them being SO much older than me, but now it's interesting, since it's more of a level ground. Ryan is 22 and Jonathan is 27. Some of my best friends are those ages. Jonathan is a single dad raising his son, Ethan. The most beautiful moment of that day was when I was sitting next to Jonathan and Ethan came over and ran himself into us. Jonathan just started sharing, "Man, I love this guy. But, man we've been through some tough days." He went on to share about how his girlfriend, Ethan's mother up and left them, and they're trying to make it on their own. I was so surprised by his openness, even though his being tipsy may have contributed, but nonetheless, it caused my heart to break for him.

Saturday, December 25th -- Day 24
-CHRISTMAS day. I have a beautiful family, 'nuff said.

Sunday, December 26th -- Day 25
-I went to Westbrook and was able to catch up with two of my old youth pastors. Phil Schank and Greg Marshall. That was SUCH a blessing. Greg left such an impression on me, as we were in the middle of a conversation, and he just stopped, looked at me and spoke, "Wow, it is SO good to see you." Talk about catching me off-guard. I love these two guys. God has used them in tremendous and beautiful ways throughout my life.

The next three-ish weeks consisted of spending New Years in Kansas City, MO, bunking with Karleen for a few nights in Indiana at the Greeney's and going on wild adventures, starting up my fourth semester at Bethel, and getting over 36 inches of snow in one weekend.

Now it's mid-January of 2011. Let the blogs re-begin.