Bundle of Beauty -- 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

I've finally gotten to a place where I am able to sit down and catch up on this blogging. For a short update, I'm now one semester closer to being an upperclassman college student. Whoa. This whole time concept sure throws me for a loop. For the first time in my after-high school life I can also officially say that I made the Dean's list. Another whoa.

This past semester has taught me so much, and seemed to have passed with the snap of a finger. Starting in a couple weeks I will be a new member to Bethel's Concert Choir with lots of Numbers to catch up on, a guitar teacher with much to learn to an eight year old little girl, and will be stretched to make the most with my time with 17 credits of classes on my plate. Bring on the excitement and challenges alike.

Beauiful Friday #16
Jenna's surprise Birthday meets Welcome Home party. Wonderful Rachel schemed up the terrific plan to stash as many of Jenna's close friends that could make it as possible into a crazy room filled with fantastic Italian food all at the same time. The beauty of humor and the reunion of friends after too long came clear during the simultaneous eruption of laughter and smiles after hiding all our faces behind the menus at Olive Garden to aid our disguise.

Beautiful Saturday #17
After clearing the rooms of third floor's Pac Rim voyagers-to-be, and checking the health (aka: making sure there will be no molding food in the fridge, or stench build-up from the trash) of the rest of our rooms, I spent the night with Karleen and Kelsey at the Greeney's. Even though it was planned to be much earlier, Karleen's arrival home didn't beat 1am. The beautiful part comes in when Kelsey and I were rushing throughout the kitchen, trying to be silent as mice, while at the same time trying to prepare a scrumptious dinner for our lovely Karleen. The even more beautiful part was the sharing of some homemade peppermint cheesecake. Oh, the beauty of unplanned randomness.

Beautiful Sunday #18
What's more beautiful than the collage of 3-9 year olds singing well-known Christmas tunes? Well, it was at least the highlight of my Sunday morning at Epic. There was Caleb, a young boy soloing on Little Drummer Boy. You had to be there, so I won't even try to explain, but it put the greatest smile on my face. More than beautiful.

Beautiful Monday #19
Coming home from a semester being at school, things always seem to look a little different. Some for the better, yes, but also some for the...

Anyways, Monday afternoon I got to play catch-up with my little cousins. Evie, Tess, and Olivia; ages eight and four. It is incredible to take notice of the obvious "growth spurt" they've had over the past couple months. Very interesting and extrememly beautiful. Such cutie pies!

Beautiful Tuesday #20
I think that it's time to talk about something controversial. One of my favorite things, but sadly I realize not everyone shares the same feelings on the subject. Grocery shopping. So beautiful. Not exactly sure why, I just love it. Solo is fine, and made even better with company. Just yesterday my grandma and I were out picking up some things off our "list" when all of a sudden I heard my name...

"Casey?!" And for the record, it was a mix between excitement and a question. Spoken confidently, yet with the hope of not being embarrassed. It was none other than one of my best friends from high school: Hannah. Such a pleasant, and beautiful, surprise.

Thank you, Lord, for Hannah. SHE is beautiful.

Beauty to Love or to Hate... #15

I remembered that in the description for this "beauty project" there was a statement made that, for the days beauty is written about:

Some may be sappy.
Some may be humorous.
Some may be skin deep.
Some may be much deeper.
Some you may identify with the beauty.
Some may be far from beautiful to you.

With that, I found this to be fitting to at least one or more of the above. You decide for yourself.

In a nutshell: Some of you may find this beautiful... personally, I'm not sure whether to love it or hate it.

Beautiful Reunion: Project Day 14

Last night was one big Welcome Home to friends who spent the last couple months learning, living and changing throughout time spent in the Dominican Republic. Wow. To see their faces, give the most gigantic hugs ever, ask the most random questions and see fantastic pictures... was just, all around, beautiful.

Brittany and Jenna,

I look forward to hearing all the stories that unravel throughout this next semester and beyond.

Savior, Please: Beauty #13

Savior, please take my hand
'Cause I fall so hard, and I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please won't you help me stand
'Cause I fall so hard, and I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all that I have

Hallelujah
'Cause everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me 
Hallelujah

Savior, Please by Josh Wilson -- give it a listen. These lyrics have been particularly beautiful to me lately, I mean in general, but specifically in the past couple days. It is a genuine prayer, mixed with incredible musical style and talent. "This is a song about how much I need Jesus." Can I say, Amen?

Delicious Beauty #12

Janelle made these delicious oreo-mint truffles for our Sailor RA party last night.

I was fascinated by the thought of how quickly the melted chocolate hardens just in time so that it does not run all over the place.

And I thought they were so pretty -- with white chocolate drizzled on top.

Interesting and beautiful.

"Fa la la la la la la la la" -- Beauty # 11

Last night Tuckey and company faced the blizzardy snow in our mission to bring some Christmas carols and warm smiles throughout Bethel's surrounding communities. Mission successful. Here are some highlights (or stand-out-moments!):

1. Woman coming to the door, waving us to be-gone, then walking away. There was no Christmas decor; we should have known.

2. Singing sweetly for Dr. Oglesbee and his family, then demanding A's on exams for those in his classes. Because, of course, now we know where he lives. As he shared he was still in the grading process, we rested (more like banked) on our singing of carols raising his spirits for the night.

3. Melisa mistaking me for a man. "Let's sing to him!" (with a big pointer finger -- thinking it was some random person/creeper just staring at them from afar) ... "Uhh, that's Casey!"

4. Older lady giving us her thanks and then enthusiastically filling us in with, "My husband's in the bathtub!" TMI?

5. We saved Kathy Gribben for last, mainly because she wasn't home when we started, but still. As we started singing for her... she got so excited and started screaming (over our singing, haha) something like, "Janelle, is that you?! Where's Travis? Ohh, I just love Bethel! ......" We thought it was funny.

It's moments like these, that refresh you from being stuck in the mundane routine that especially comes with winter. Smiles, cheerful tunes (even if Christmas music hasn't won you over), seeing new faces that you don't see everyday, almost slipping on the icy roads, lots of laughs.  

Beautiful.

Beauty #8, #9, #10

First of all, sorry for the three-ish day delay on my Beauty Project. Let's back up a few days.

Friday. #8

Laura (roomie), Rae (co-ra), and I took a day trip into Chicago. Okay, more like after all our classes. We left around 4pm. Anywho, after bundling up with lots of under-armor and leggings, we set out into the city. Cities, road trips/ being in the car, listening to great music, enjoying the company of great friends... these are some of my favorite things, so this trip was such a neat treat. Before we left the downtown area to be with some of Laura's family for the night, we met up with one of my high school friends who goes to Moody Bible Institute. At first he tried meeting up with us at Macy's, only to find out it was the wrong Macy's... oh gosh, but then we ended up just driving over to his campus. We didn't even get a parking pass, as we were only planning to just drop in for a few minutes... haha. Yeah, those of you who know me, it comes as no surprise that it ended up being more like an hour. What a beautiful blessing though. On another note, one of the reasons that "cities" fascinate me so much, is the people inside of them. In such a fast-paced and almost desensitized environment, I just love to sit back and look at all the faces. They each tell a story. A detailed one at that. Wow. Sometimes I just look, seeing much hurry, stress, loneliness, strain, security, years of life just bundled up into deep wrinkles, and think, "What a wonderful Maker. God, you make beautiful creations." My heart aches for those so far from His heart; scarred from disillusionment and broken truth.

Saturday. #9

After returning from a refreshing and adventure-filled excursion in Chicago, we headed straight to Nate's, Laura's boyfriend and my great friend, house for a surprise birthday party. Later into the evening with our guitars and djembes out during some worship time I checked into Facebook to check up on some messages. While on I found out that a good friends family was in a terrible accident and her mom didn't make it (now I know that one of her younger sisters didn't either). Instantly, tears just started streaming down my face. I got on my knees and wept. After a couple of songs I mentioned it to everyone, and it was so beautiful to see people that don't even know her or her family at all, just start praying. It is one of those times that is extremely sad and confusing, yet God is still God. We put our trust and praise in Him when it hurts as much as when it doesn't.

Sunday. #10

Every Sunday on our way to church, well usually, my friend and I exercise a tradition started about a year ago of grabbing some of best donuts around -- Stone's. There, is a lady named Felicia. Super awesome and outgoing (not to mention highly opinionated!) as she is, I've been recently encouraged hearing some more personal things shared with us throughout the weeks. This past Sunday as she was sharing, we told her that we'd be praying for her and the situation, which was responded with a very enthusiastic, "Thank you, please do!" To me, this was huge. And beautiful. Throughout some of the most ordinary and routine encounters, regular or not, it is easy to just be very consumeristic with our interactions and communications. I've just been thinking a lot about that, and Felicia had been on my heart over the past couple of weeks in thoughts and prayers, so after seeing her and talking together for a bit on Sunday morning, I was super excited, and looking forward to seeing what the days ahead bring.

"Protect" - Beauty Project #6

My mentor is really good at this. Protecting time.

If she says she is going to devote her day to her sister, then not just anything is going to come in-between that. If she made plans to talk to her parents overseas via phone, then she usually drops whatever she may be involved with in order to do so. Of course, this may not always be appropriate in certain situations, but the gist of it is that when she makes a decision, she sticks to it.

I've actually been having this conversation with my roomie lately, about needing to keep our relationship fresh (even though we live together), through being intentional about having time just for us to do random, crazy, adventurous, laid-back, "anything and everything" type things together, and to PROTECT it. To guard it. To me, there is beauty in that.

Last night after a few hours of "studying" at Notre Dame with some awesome gals, it's not that we didn't want to include everyone for our "date night", we just knew that we between us we needed to stick to what we talked about. At the risk of seeming exclusive and rude, we hope that as we start incorporating this discipline more into our lives, as it was intriguing and even attractive to us through my mentor, that maybe others will take notice as well. And what a night it was; just so good to be together.

Beautiful.

Beautiful Blessings Come In All Sizes... Even From Hawaii #5

Yesterday was one of the greatest afternoons I've had this semester. Laura Bulgrien. She blessed me more than she will ever know. God has blessed me way more than I could have ever imagined through our friendship. So beautiful. This girl.

I seriously RAN into her last Friday night at Bethel's Christmas concert (which was SO awesome -- both the concert and running into her), and then yesterday practically attacked her again when I saw her after chapel. Laura, her brother and sister (Jamie and Matt Metzger -- I finally got to meet them and their new son, Dom!), along with a few others all went to the DC for lunch. After lunch Laura and I just went on over to spend some time in my room. While there, we had an awesome conversation, listened to powerful music and prayed together. Oh how I love her! As she was praying for me I started to cry, and told her that God's Spirit is so on her. After she left, I just stared at the door for a moment and then instantly turned around, got on my knees, and seriously wept. In the best way possible. It was so refreshing. I cannot explain it. Beautiful. God has seriously blessed me in allowing our paths to intersect, and I am forever grateful.

Part of our "awesome conversation" included talking about hearing and listening to the voice of God, which brought up the perspective: What if as He starts trusting you more, He speaks less? Laura related it to parenting. I thought about it. When I was little my grandma gave me so much instruction. Do this, don't do that, go there, etc. But then as I started to grow up, she started trusting me more, and "spoke less". That was so interesting to me, and then as we read in a section of Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest, we started to talk about the gift of God's silence, out of His trust toward us. I had never thought of it like that before. I thought, "Hmm, if God's silence can be a good thing, then it makes sense that Satan would try and twist that good for bad. I mean, there are several times I have felt guilty because I wasn't 'hearing God's voice' in a certain situation. Maybe it's because He trusts me to the point of allowing me to wrestle for a while."

Check it out.

God's Silence -- Then What? (Oswald Chambers)

"When He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was" (John 11:6).

Has God trusted you with His silence - a silence that has great meaning? God's silences are actually His answers. Just think of those days of absolute silence in the home at Bethany! Is there anything comparable to those days in your life? Can God trust you like that, or are you still asking Him for a visible answer? God will give you the very blessings you ask for if you refuse to go any further without them, but His silence is the sign that He is bringing you into an even more wonderful understanding of Himself. Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response? When you cannot hear God, you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible - with absolute silence, not a silence of despair, but one of pleasure, because He saw that you could withstand an even bigger revelation. If God has given you a silence, then praise Him - He is bringing you into the mainstream of His purposes. The actual evidence of the answer in time is simply a matter of God's sovereignty. Time is nothing to God. For a while you may have said, "I asked God to give me bread, but He gave me a stone, and today you find that He gave you the "bread of life" (John 6:35).

A wonderful thing about God's silence is that His stillness is contagious - it gets into you, causing you to become perfectly confident so that you can honestly say, "I know that God has heard me." His silence is the very prod that He has. As long as yo have the idea that God will do it, but He will never give you the grace of His silence. If Jesus Christ is bringing you into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, then He will give you the first sign of His intimacy - silence.

Beauty For Old Times Sake #4

How often do you just sit down and remember good laughs with good friends? Take a deep breath and just daydream for a moment?

Earlier today for dinner, Tuckey's RD Janelle, took the RA gals out for dinner at a lovely place called The Vine in South Bend. What a treat! During our time there each of us took turns sharing what has been our favorite moment together thus far this year. Mostly embarrassing, and some sweet, we had such a blast remembering these times so easily forgotten.

A couple of hours after we returned back to the dorm, I randomly was able to sit down with my summer roomie from my time in Texas. What did we do? Take a guess... reminisced!

It was so refreshing and so beautiful to be able to share unforgettable moments that will last a lifetime.

Beauty Bootprints #3

When I went to bed last night, some would say this morning, I stopped and stared out the window in my room.

I couldn't help but notice the footprints or bootprints made in the snow. They outlined a trail that seemed mysterious to me. Just one right after the other... all leading somewhere. It made me want to run after their whisper, "Come, follow me."

Crisp. 
Detailed.
Fresh.
White.
Lovely.

Dare I say... Beautiful.

Beautiful Beloved: Day 2

I've been digging a new song by Misty Edwards called I Knew What I Was Getting Into. You can either check it out on iTunes or Grooveshark. The lyrics are insanely dynamite; written in the perspective of God speaking to His Beloved.

I randomly came across "an oracle from the Lord given through Misty Edwards", which was the inspiration for her new song.This truth, so seldom heard, is beautiful.

8-6-09 Listen my beloved.  Listen my beloved.  Listen my beloved ones in whom I am well pleased.  Listen my beloved one.  I knew what I was getting into, when I called you.  And I am not surprised with you now.  I knew what I was getting into, when I said your name and still I said it just the same.  I know you better than you do.  I knew what I was getting into, when I chose you.  I chose you still.  I knew what I was getting into, I know your frame.  And I remember that you are but dust but I know where this is going.  I knew what I was getting into when I called you.  I don’t regret it.  I am not shocked by your struggle.  I am not put off by your struggle.  I am not disgusted or ashamed of you.  I knew what I was getting into when I chose you and said ‘he is my vessel, he is my chosen one, she is my vessel, she is my chosen one”.  You see it’s not about you, it’s all about Me.  I chose you and that’s enough and I’m going to bring you forth in love.  I’m going to bring you to the end, I’m going to bring you to the end in strength.  Cause I see strength in you.  All that you can see inside of you is your own weakness.  But I see the end from the beginning.  I know where this is going and you’ve barely just begun.  You see, so few will ever fight the good fight and at least you’re fighting.  Even when you feel you’re losing.  So few will ever enter into the battle but you refuse to quit.  And this is all I ask, this is all I ask.  So few will ever look back at Me and say I really want to love You.  But you say it everyday.  Everyday, you say I really want to love You.  And you cry and you say I’m so sinful and I’m so full of compromise and I see your confession and it’s real.  And I still believe those vows you make, you break, you make, you break.  I still believe in you.  I knew what I was getting into when I called you.  And I called you just the same.  I knew what I was getting into when I beckoned you and I beckon you still today.  I am not surprised by your struggle.  No, I am not disgusted by your discovery.  You’re the one that is surprised by your pride.  You thought you were better than that.  But listen, I see the seeds of righteousness in you.  I’ve clothed you with the blood of My Son and it’s enough.  It’s enough.  It’s enough.  Why are you trying to get into a room you’re already in.  You’re already in.  I am not surprised.  I know you better than you know yourself.  And you said yes, so few do.  Who is this, who is this?  Who is this as beautiful as Tirzah.  Awesome as Jerusalem.  Awesome as an army with banners.  Who is this?  Lovely as Jerusalem, beautiful as Tirzah.  Who is this?  Look away from Me.  Your eyes, they overwhelm Me.  Yes, your eyes, your eyes overwhelm Me.  I sympathize with you.  I know you’re in a dark night of faith.  And yet you still have faith, and so few do.  You are my favorite one.  You’re the only one I see.  You’re the only one, my favorite one.  You’ve ravished me.  Dare to believe.  I know you’re disappointed with the way your life is coming down.  And bitterness has tried to bite you like a plague.  But you fought and you fight and you press on and you push and you long and you reach and you mourn and you hunger and you thirst.  That’s all I ask of you.  That’s all I ask of you.  It’s all I ask of you.  Do you know the way this moves Me?  You ruin Me.  You ruin Me.  Nothing could overwhelm Me, but you overwhelm Me.  Your eyes are like doves eyes.  You think that you waver in your vision.  but oh you come back again.  And again, and again.  You didn’t give up.  You didn’t give in.  You didn’t let shame pull you down.  You didn’t just hang up and say I can’t do it, it’s too hard.  You didn’t accuse me of being too hard, no.  You said, I want to try again.  You got up again, and again, and again.  You repented again and again and again.  It’s all I ask of you.  It’s all I ask of you.  Just don’t give up.  Don’t give in.  If you don’t quit.  You’ll win.

And He Wept: Dec. 1st

Weeping, sobbing, letting it all out, is one of the most beautiful things to me. Skateboarding. Not as naturally and obviously "beautiful" to me, but this past week became one of the more beautiful topics of discussion.

It was Wednesday night -- worship team practice. After some Little Caesar's pizza on make-shift (napkin) paper plates, and delicious Tomato and Basil potato chips (they're like eating veggies!), the crew headed up stairs for some week-sharing and prayer time.

One of the guys started sharing about how he's been in the process of launching a business focused on building and selling skateboards. His purpose is to give away 50% of what he makes, which seems unrealistic and foolish, but it's been a vision from God. He needed to have $5,000 pledged on this specific "kickstarter" website, in order for the funds to come through. If he was $1 short, he wouldn't see a dime. He continued sharing the depth of his passion, and how through this time of uncertainty, he has grown closer in his walk with God (over the past 20 days) than in his entire life. He started to weep. "Even if the funds don't come through tonight at midnight, there is no way that God isn't going to get the glory," he shared from the core of his heart. THAT was beautiful!

We all came together as a family and prayed together and for each other. So meaningful. One of the things I also love so much about our practices, is that they are often so much more. Our "practice" is an offering to God; not just on Sunday mornings.

After a great night at practice, a few of us topped it off with some Bubble Tea -- the best! I think it's becoming a tradition?

God, I thank you for beauty in surrender. Continue pouring your blessings over Peter and the passions that you have given him.

Something Beautiful #1

Anyone else a fan of NeedToBreathe's Something Beautiful? Check out their exclusive acoustic set.

As I mentioned in my previous post, my friend Tiffany gave me the nudge to join in on this Beauty Project. After I got thinking, that in and of itself ended up being a pretty beautiful sequence of events. Let me explain.

Last night was the opening for Bethel's Christmas Concert performances. My roomie and I made a date out of it, and it was awesome. In fact, I have a new favorite Christmas song, which coming from not the biggest Christmas music fan, is a HUGE deal. A Baby Changes Everything. Okay, back on track! After the concert I said my hellos to friends in the show and headed on back to my room. I almost instantly had this heaviness come over me, and I still am not able to pin-point it. I thought for a moment. Most of my friends were out with their friends and family, so I could write one of my many papers due in the next couple weeks, or call it an early night. But no, I was just too restless. With two journals, a book, and Bible in hand, I journeyed over to Shiloh, our prayer chapel here on Bethel's campus. I just needed to breathe and was majorly craving some uninterrupted silence with Jesus.

It must have been about 15 minutes after I was doing my thing in Shiloh, singing and praying choruses on the keyboard, that I heard the door handle crack. On came in Tiffany. She started laughing and asked me what was up. "No joke", she said and then went on to share that she too had this restlessness in her, and God told her to go to Shiloh. If anyone was in there then she knew she was supposed to talk with them, and if not, then to be with Jesus, just them two. We just chilled and shared for a while until a few other people came in for Friday Night Worship time. What to do now, we thought. Hmm.

Her first thought was to see what awkward couple was hangin' in Egle Hall, but then mentioned that we could even go off campus. Bubble Tea, I immediately thought! So what the heck, we went on a little late night adventure across town.

I had just been at Bubble Tea a couple nights ago with some Epic friends, and had become converted to a new flavor. From Strawberry/Pineapple to Vanilla. So worth it. Waiting for our drinks, we played some Connect Four, which I was very serious about by the way.

I dominated, of course :) After her first sip of Bubble Tea goodness EVER, Tdawg and I spent a few moments marveling about the chewy"ness" of the pearls. Mmm.

All in all, a beautiful night it was. We even sat chatting in her car for a while after, creeping on silly couple crazies and the like.

PS -- today we went out to lunch and ran errands, haha! 

God is the Maker and Giver of beautiful friendships. Thank you God, for allowing our paths to intersect, and for setting up Tdawg in my life.

60 Day Beauty Project

A good friend of mine, Tiffany (Tdawg!) told me about this beauty project she just started with a group of other folk looking to allow God to redefine their view of beauty. She encouraged me to check it out, and... well, here goes it. I hope you'll consider this for yourself as well, and come join me at gazing upon the details in life with awe and enjoyment.  

Here is a post off of Derry Prenkert’s blog including his vision for the "project":

Coming December through January: 60 Days of Beauty Project

A few thoughts:

• I sense, more than ever a deep level of negativity, frustration, anger, and criticism around me.
• I sense, more than ever a deep level of negativity, frustration, anger, and criticism inside me.
• Although the Holiday season has its bright and warm moments, the winter months can tend to press in with feelings of depression and hopelessness.
• I have been wrestling on finding something "fresh" to do on the blog.

These thoughts have come together for me to come up with an unprecedented series on the blog.  I am going to look for at least one time where I am able to say, "That is a thing of beauty" for 60 straight days starting December 1 (running through January 29).  It may come in the form of a story, a picture, a video, a scripture, a quote, a principle, or whatever.
Some may be sappy.
Some may be humorous.
Some may be skin deep.
Some may be much deeper.
Some you may identify with the beauty.
Some may be far from beautiful to you.

My hope is to put up a post daily on my previous day's encounter.  Reality tells me I may not do this 100% of the time.  I will, however seek to identify at least one thing of beauty for every one of 60 days.

Why am I doing this?

1. I need it.  I need to stop and smell the flowers.  I need to break out of my "stinkin' thinkin'" I have found myself in.
2. I think along the way as you read, you may be able to find some inspiration or fresh perspective on the amazing beauty of God's creation and the actions of his created where we may, at times, overlook.

Beauty, more than bitterness, makes the heart break.

-Sara Teasdale (America Lyrical Poet)