What Does Love Look Like?

DAY 32 -- Beauty Challenge

Tuesday, January 25th

My roomie has been listening to a song called Arms Open Wide by Misty Edwards for quite some time now, and it just hit me today. I liked the song, but truth in it and the honest words attacked my heart earlier today.

It's beautiful. Our God, Maker of the Heavens and Earth, Perfect Father and Master, Gentle Guider and LORD, is beautiful. I want that to be my constant thought. God, may your beauty, your mystery and compassion make its home in me. My mind, my heart, my strength. Devoted to you.


“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been pondering.
“What does love look like?”
“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been asking of You.

I once believed that love was romance, just a chance.
I even thought that love was for the lucky and the beautiful.
I once believed that love was a momentary bliss,
But love is more than this.

All You ever wanted was my attention.
All You ever wanted was love from me.
All You ever wanted was my affections, to sit here at Your feet.
Then I sat down, a little frustrated and confused.
If all of life comes down to love,
Then love has to be more than sentiment.
More than selfishness and selfish gain.

And then I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me.
I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me.
He was looking at me, looking at Him, staring through me.

I could not escape those beautiful eyes,
And I began to weep and weep.
He had arms wide open, a heart exposed
Arms wide open; He was bleeding, bleeding.
Love’s definition, love’s definition was looking at me,
Looking at Him, hanging on a tree.

I began to weep and weep and weep and weep.
This is how I know what love is, this is how I know what love is.
And as I sat there weeping, crying,
Those beautiful eyes, full of desire and love,
He said to me, “You shall love Me, You shall love Me.
You shall love Me, You shall love Me”.

With arms wide open, a heart exposed,
With arms wide open, bleeding, sometimes bleeding.
If anybody’s looking for love in all the wrong places,
If you’ve been searching for love, come to Me, come to Me.

Take up your cross, deny yourself,
Forget your father’s house and run, run with Me.
You were made for abandonment, wholeheartedness.
You were made for someone greater, someone bigger, so follow Me.
And You’ll come alive when you learn to die.

Oh, He Knows Us.

January 21st
Today I got an invitation to my first wedding for a friend from Bethel! I am so excited -- congrats, Sam :) You are beautiful!!!

Also, tonight Laura and I ran some errands. On our way, we met an icy patch on the roads, and did a 180 - yikes! I picked up some super cute notes & envelopes for 10cents a pack at Michaels, and Laura let me drive her car all the way back to Bethel from the South Bend airport. This time, I didn't cut anyone off! After our safe return to campus, Sam and I bonded over some pizza rolls while watching 27 Dresses, my favorite! I seriously love this girl, and our friendship. If you know her, you know how insanely stylish she is, and that she is a complete pro at making (not tacky) jewelry. So, it totally made my night when she gave me one of her beautiful creations. What an honor.

January 22nd
Today was Laura's Nursing Dedication Ceremony. Both of us were able to sleep in, which was much needed, and then the fancy hair-do's and fitting into high heels began (or not-so-high). Anywho, this ceremony was a big deal for Laura and her classmates, and I am so proud of her for all her hard work and dedication to her calling as a nurse. She is so beautiful!

Funny moment from the ceremony -- a guy shared that one of his "top five reasons for being a nurse is giving needles. For it is better to give, than to receive." I definitely laughed at that one.

After the ceremony, Karleen and I enjoyed a triple-chocolate date at the fantastic South Bend Chocolate Factory. Mmmm. Let me define what I mean by "triple" -- Hot Chocolate La Salle (mint hot cocoa), with a chocolate truffle on top, and a double chocolate chip muffin. WHOAH! It was a great time of being together, as always, and being able to catch up.

January 23th

Here are the beautiful highlights of the day:

-Being back at Epic since before Christmas break.
-Packers owning the Bears and off to the SuperBowl we go. Yeah Green!

January 24th

Meeting with Mel today, I overheard a girl sitting next to us exclaim her enthusiasm for the Packers. Around here, talk like that isn't too common, so I guess it just stuck out to me. I interrupted and pointed out that, I too, and a fan. This led to another question, and a question or two after that. All to say, she graduated from the same high school as me! What?! And she's a junior here at Bethel - so CRAZY! I just could not believe it - definitely made my day. It was just so refreshing, that even though I know practically nothing about her, to know that we have that in common. Something that I cannot share with anyone else here at Bethel. To me, it was a beautiful reminder of how incredibly serious and true it is that the LORD truly KNOWS us, and how small the world indeed is.

Has Honesty Lost It's Beauty?

Today in my Greek class, Professor Morris, one of the greatest men I've ever met in my life, mentioned that class was going to start a few minutes late. We were waiting for a Campus Safety Officer to come get something from him.

Sounded a bit sketchy to me, too.

Lo and behold, Morris had came across a deserted and lonely ten dollar bill in the parking lot. Not belonging to him, he turned it into the Lost and Found portion of Bethel's campus security. This totally shocked me beyond belief. Ten dollars, really?! I know I would have kept it, and thought of it as a "blessing from God" or something.

Hmm, it struck me as beautiful, oddly enough.
Odd, should it be?
Has honesty lost it's beauty?

Beauty Beyond Control

Yesterday happened to be one of those days, where beauty could only come from out of your hands.

It felt or "seemed" as if there was just no way I was gonna be able to put a dent in what I needed to get done. Great day, don't get me wrong, but just a lot.

After a great time at practice with some of my favorite people and a great time catching up with a friend, I went back to my room. Ready to lash out on what I thought was going to be my massive list of to-do's and reading lists, it came to my surprise that there was not nearly the amount of "stuff" that needed to be done. What. It didn't make sense, because at the beginning of the day, before my first class, I felt overwhelmed with what was ahead of me in the day.

God is so gracious, and the way He orchestrates our times -- down to very minutes, is too beautiful to understand.

Beauty Times Five and On

I've come to a conclusion that I am over-due the "get caught up on blogging" date, so here's my plan. I'm gonna give a few highlights from the past how-ever-long it's been since my last update, and then take it from today forward -- to continue toward my 60 day mark. I realize that I will be several days behind the rest of the crew, but for my own sanity, and as a result of not having kept up with day-to-day entries, this will have to suffice. I send my sincerest apologies.

Wednesday December 22nd -- Day 21
-There is an adventurous side of beauty when it comes to getting lost. This was my one and only Wednesday morning open during my break in Wisconsin, so it worked out perfectly when my lovely Danielle, mostly known as Dmode, suggested a coffee date. Planning on getting to our beloved Black Canyon no later than 9am didn't exactly go down as we had hoped -- she didn't even make it to my place until closer to 10am! Another side of the beauty that I saw in this was how my anticipation grew with each second that passed, to see Dmode's beautiful face and have a humungo hug!

Thursday, December 23rd -- Day 22
-This was the day to visit my dad. I had invited Amanda to go with, as she is registered and has gone with my grandma and I in the past. It had been almost two years since I had seen him last, so it wasn't the most ease-filled time ever, especially on the drive there.What stuck out to me the most, besides me never seeing my dad with a beard before, was how he looked so much older. Okay, the beard may have contributed a bit to that also. BUT, he had wrinkles. My dad has a great smile, and so I've always known him to have "squinty eyes" from his charming smile, but there was more. The whole concept of him having wrinkles just stuck to me. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Some might say not, but I think there is a natural beauty that comes with age. And, I think he may have shrunk a bit, or maybe I just got taller!

Friday, December 24th -- Day 23
-Christmas Eve! I spent the night at my mom's apartment with two of my half-siblings, and my mom's mom (grandma Calista). The following morning some of my cousins came over. I remember growing up being constantly teased, not to mention tickled by Ryan and Jonathan. I always looked up to them being SO much older than me, but now it's interesting, since it's more of a level ground. Ryan is 22 and Jonathan is 27. Some of my best friends are those ages. Jonathan is a single dad raising his son, Ethan. The most beautiful moment of that day was when I was sitting next to Jonathan and Ethan came over and ran himself into us. Jonathan just started sharing, "Man, I love this guy. But, man we've been through some tough days." He went on to share about how his girlfriend, Ethan's mother up and left them, and they're trying to make it on their own. I was so surprised by his openness, even though his being tipsy may have contributed, but nonetheless, it caused my heart to break for him.

Saturday, December 25th -- Day 24
-CHRISTMAS day. I have a beautiful family, 'nuff said.

Sunday, December 26th -- Day 25
-I went to Westbrook and was able to catch up with two of my old youth pastors. Phil Schank and Greg Marshall. That was SUCH a blessing. Greg left such an impression on me, as we were in the middle of a conversation, and he just stopped, looked at me and spoke, "Wow, it is SO good to see you." Talk about catching me off-guard. I love these two guys. God has used them in tremendous and beautiful ways throughout my life.

The next three-ish weeks consisted of spending New Years in Kansas City, MO, bunking with Karleen for a few nights in Indiana at the Greeney's and going on wild adventures, starting up my fourth semester at Bethel, and getting over 36 inches of snow in one weekend.

Now it's mid-January of 2011. Let the blogs re-begin.