Unconditional Love -- Part Two

I dull my senses with comforts, thrills, and romantic stimulation.

Thus the market for more…

Romance novels

Time shares

Bigger homes

Vacation/cruises

Promotions

Cars

Theme parks

Internet

Video games

iPods

Learn in your sleep

Add an inch

Lose weight

Renew your sex life

Yet with the law of diminishing return, few find the feeling of home, the unconditional love their hearts are looking for. Why would I be any different?

The result?

The soul no longer feels its worth.

Hopelessness has taken up residence.

Struggle and survival are now the only signs of life.

Some would insist that this isn’t life at all.

It’s just existence.

Now instead of living life to the fullest, I just endure another day.

Learning how to settle for less, I betray my original design and desire. I sell out. I give in. I succumb to the weariness within and the pressure without.

Denial is my only comfort. Escape is my only solitude. Harmony is left to the orchestra, and not for my inner being. I have become one with my universe and the confusion now spins me round and round the sun, but I feel no warmer.

All I can now call a feeling is anger.

I feel cheated, deceived, ripped off!

Contempt changes direction toward others…human-kind, organized religion, politics, my parents, my wife, and then…myself.

I’m not good enough.

I deserve this.

Finally, my anger is directed at God…

How could a God of love let this happen?

Is it chance?

Maybe there is no God.

But even the whining grows old and I become numb.

I’m growing hard, dying from the inside.

Depression, a sense of darkness, now looms over the emptiness.

Helplessness screams for release but finds nothing inside of me that can make things better.

It only insists there’s no way out.

Worthlessness now personified takes on a personality of its own, mocking me for ever thinking things could have been different for me – me, of all people.

It flashes my mistakes over and over in my mind, stripping me of any last feeling of a remnant of value.

“Why even care,” whispers a newcomer.

Worthlessness introduces her friend…

Apathy.

“I’ll take it from here,” she says in a vague and eerie voice. “There’s no need for you to do a thing. It wouldn’t matter anyway. You’re finished. Everything they said to you was true. They were right, so don’t forget what they said.” So, with a belittling voice filled with insults and put downs, the old sayings come back and never seem to end, going over and over in my head…

You knew better.

What were you thinking?

You idiot!

I told you that you would never amount to anything.

Way to screw up again.

Did you really think someone would want you?

Loser.

You’re pathetic.

You disgust me.

I told you you’d never be as good as your brother.

I didn’t expect any more of you.

You are such a disappointment.

You’re a waste of space.

I don’t even know who you are!

I told you…I told you!

You’ll never learn.

Don’t even talk to me.

How could you?

Look what you’ve done.

I hope you’re happy now.

Silence. (Neglect)

It’s your own fault.

What did you expect?

You’re no ordinary dummy.

Don’t touch me.

Get away from me!

Shut up. I don’t even want to hear it.

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

Now I’ve heard it all.

What next?

Did you think nobody would find out?

How stupid can you be?

That’s what you get.

I hope it hurts.

You made your bed, now sleep in it.

You’re only getting what you’ve got coming.

You fool.

You’re good for nothing.

You’re a piece of work.

You would ever love you?

What am I going to do with you?

You’re giving me a headache.

You’re like a pebble in my shoe.

I’m not even going to waste my time with you.

To me, you don’t even exist.

I warned you.

I told you she was no good.

It figures.Why do I even get my hopes up?

You’re nothing but a piece of trash.

You stink.

Your own mom doesn’t want you.

It would have been better if you were never born.

I wish I would never have met you.

Can’t you do anything right

You’re an accident waiting to happen.

Did I ask for your opinion?

You’re getting on my nerves.

It’s your own fault.

You’re only getting what you had coming.

You were an accident.

You’re not my kid.

Go play in traffic.

Shame on you.

I hate you.

I didn’t know they piled crap so high.

You’re just a failure.

Pack your bags.

You’re out of here!

Don’t ever come back.

I never want to see you again.

I feel sorry for your family.

You’re an embarrassment to everyone you know.

Don’t you have a decent bone in your whole body?

Go tell someone who cares.

You’re morally bankrupt.

You’re sick!

You’re just plain evil.

You’re a poor excuse for a person.

Ha, ha, ha, ha…

Look at you…

Na, na, na, na…

I want a divorce.

It’s over!

There’s someone else.

I don’t love you anymore.

You’re not worth it.

You’re boring.

You’re ugly.

You’re not good enough.

We picked someone else.

You’re fired.

We’re downsizing.

We don’t need your services anymore.

Beat it.

You blew it.

I don’t care.

Voices, voices, and more voices affirm my feelings of worthlessness.

Ever been there? I have. Maybe you’re there right now. You’re not alone. Countless people have been there.

Uncondiontal love…Change is impossible on our own. Righteousness is impossible on our own. Merit is impossible on our own. Holiness is impossible on our own. Salvation is impossible on our own.

“With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27 (NASB)

Because of…

Jesus.

More than a teacher,

More than an example,

More than a man…

He is Emmanuel.

God with us.

The Savior of the world.

The world!

That includes you and me.

Evidence of grace in a believer’s life is…

Gratitude.

God did for me what I didn’t deserve and what I couldn’t and still can’t do for myself.

When I heard that Good News for myself, when I heard His word, it was saying to me personally, “You are loved beyond your wildest dreams; even in spite of your lack of hope.”

When I heard it was real, my heart flickered.

When I knew my goodness didn’t merit it and my sinfulness couldn’t prevent it, my heart ignited!

Like a thrill of hope…a weary heart rejoices.

You, too, will fall on your knees when you hear it, really hear it.

And your heart will beat as if for the first time. New life.

Humanly, I can’t even fathom that this is true.

But somehow I believe…

That’s faith! Beyond me – outside myself.

More than normal – above the natural – a sense of wonder.

My spirit breathes its first breath.

A ray of light, a sign of life – real life.

A sense of, “Could this be?” It is.

Authentic, genuine…unconditional love.

My soul cries out as a newborn…

“Yes! Yes! This is what I’ve been waiting and longing for!

What I was made for.

Created for.

Designed for. Just this…

Relationship.

It’s like someone breathed new life into me.

Awakened me from a deep sleep.

Rescued me from an enemy.

Raised me from my deadness.

Called me into a new story.

Beckoned me to come on a new journey.

Softened and molded my hard lump of clay.

Wrote a new ending to the play of my life.

Painted a different backdrop and called me His masterpiece.

He called me His beloved.

Chosen.

Precious.

How could this be? Yet I somehow am driven to, almost made to…

You see?

It’s irresistible…

I believe.

I believe!

I know my failures, yet I stand forgiven.

I know my past, yet I have a future.

I know I don’t deserve it, but it’s assured.

I know my depravity, yet He’s given me dignity.

I know my weakness, yet sense a strength.

I know my shortcomings,yet feel complete.

I have a reason, a purpose, and at the same time, a peace and a rest. I belong.

Yet, I am called to action.

I know it’s OK to just be, to be the me I was meant to be.

My value is not in who I am, but whose I am.

And why?

Not because of what I’ve done, or not done, but because of who He is and what He’s done.

He’s has made a way to enter into a relationship with Him – the God of the universe.

God is love, and He created me to share in that love. I was designed to bring glory to God by enjoying Him forever.

Starting now.

Knowing His love alone brings fulfillment, peace, worth, value, joy, lasting hope.

Knowing Him is life, for He is the one true God.

The only way to obtain that relationship is through what He did by loving me unconditionally through His Son, Jesus.

Unconditionally loved?

Yes.